Sunday, September 28, 2008

falling into a comma

A couple of months ago I was chatting via keyboard late one night with one of my two favorite red-headed people from Idaho (hint: TOFKAG) and due to a typing slip-up (not uncommon to my inability to speak correctly after approximately 10pm) "coma" became "comma." I was inspired. And two months later I finally turned that slip-up into this:

Falling into a Comma
by Joann Renee

It’s a plight most
frequently found in those
afflicted with the combined
forces of avid reading
and obsessive compulsive
tendencies (I prefer
“thoroughly-inclined”).

What happens
you see
the victim idly swishing
a lone tea bag in two
inches of water,
glasses precariously tipped forward,
legs woven intricately,
book cradled knee to hand,
eyes weaving rapidly back
and forth.

Then like a pause
button, our friend
freezes—
their inner-narrator
has been lulled
to silence by the over-
usage of punctuation:

Does that belong there?
Or should it be after the noun?
No, I think…
Well, perhaps…
Hmm. Tricky…
Maybe if you moved the predicate…

This is why cats are indispensable
for every serious bookworm and scholar.
Were it not for Patches ankle-
rubbing, this comma
could’ve been terminal.

3 comments:

farmgirl beth said...

Aaaaaah. Once again you have poeticalized one of those nearly un-capturable truths of life. Now, if only I could find a moment to fall...

Lorelei said...

You're other red-head wants some talkin' time with you. The church building will be finished this week and so I vote we talk soon :)

joshandkarlee said...

Very witty! Love you much!